you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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