Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
