my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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