how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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