; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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