i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
