in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
