I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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