Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
