don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
