Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
