i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
