My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
