Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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