i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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