I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
