If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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