just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
