I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
