do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
