I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
