you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
