well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
