We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
