im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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