We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
