she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
