Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
