Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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