I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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