guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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