you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
