Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
