nut hugger
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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