I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
