so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
