I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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