you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my poor anus
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
