Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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