well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
bring money and cleavage
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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