I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
