I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
