also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
