Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
