I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need water and some morals
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
