He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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