I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
