is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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