don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
