oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
