Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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